02 June, 2010

My, How Things Change

In 1958, my grandmother went dancing with her friends. While there, she met a tall, dark, and handsome Soldier who was home on leave. They talked, they danced and 3 months later they got married by a Justice of the Peace. After they got married, he got shipped out to Korea where he spent the first year of their marriage. They got few phone calls and sent probably thousands of letters. When he returned, he got stationed in Texas. Surprisingly, they made it through and 52 years later are still going strong. {Side note: Joe and I got married 3 days after their 50th anniversary. =D}

I wonder if that really happens anymore? If Soldiers meet women they barely know, marry them, go off to war and his bride is anxiously waiting for his return? Or, if two people get married (also barely knowing each other) and actually plan to stay together. Do the ways and busyness of the world get in the way? Do they see divorce as the option or do they choose to make to honor the vows they took and stay together? 52 years ago, divorce was rarely an option and I'd guarantee you that marriage was just as hard (and worth the effort) as it is now.

Food for thought.

I was thinking this morning how much my ideas of what my life would be like have changed. In high school, I had a plan. A great plan. One that looked good on paper and sounded great in my head. Here it was:

- Go to college
- Get a degree
- Meet a guy
- Get married
- Establish a career
- Have kids
- Be a working mom
- Live "happily ever after"

Sounds pretty darn good doesn't it?! Well, as with everything in life, things happened. In my case, the economy happened...but God did some work on me too.

I met Joe my junior year in college, when I wasn't really looking for a relationship. At that point in my life, I had decided that I'd probably be single forever. The only things I took seriously were school and God. I figured if I put myself in the right place, God would take care of the rest. Ha. Little did I know what was in store for me!

I knew that I needed some Christian friends at my college, so I went to the BCM (Baptist Collegiate Ministry). I started singing in the praise band and attending anything and everything the BCM offered. Enter Joe. It wasn't supposed to be a serious relationship, just a boyfriend, someone to hang out with. 3 weeks turned into 2 months, 2 months turned into 6...you get the picture.

When we got married, I was still very determined to establish a career. I really wanted to get a teaching job. Because of the fabulous economy, it never happened. When Joe lost his job, I was stuck. I didn't have time to search for a career. I had bills to pay, food to put on the table. Somewhere in the middle of life, I wasn't sure whether or not I still wanted to teach. Heck, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to work! When Joe enlisted, I suddenly realized I had options. I could do whatever I wanted. I was no longer limited to teaching or working at Chili's. I have a bachelor's, I love history, I love to write... I do have options.

Here's the thing: all I can think about is being a mom. That's it. I don't know if it's just baby fever or something else. I don't care if I work - I wanna have babies and raise them! I remember - when we were still dating - Joe asking me if I would home-school our kids. My immediate response was, "No! I'm going to be a working mom!" I thought if my mom could do it, then I could too. I guess things changed when I got married and realized for the first time in my life all that a wife does. The cooking, the cleaning, the laundry. It's a lot to do after you've worked all day! I honestly can't imagine throwing 1, 2, or 3 kids into that as well! {If you are a working mom...serious kudos to you!!!! You are my hero!}That aside, if you're working you miss all those little moments. I don't want to miss that. I want to be there for everything, especially when my husband may not be. I don't know when it happened, but I definitely think that God changed my heart on that one. Only He could have made such a big change in my heart. I'd mentioned this to my mom once, and she told me that I could always go back to work when the kids were in school - like she did. True, but I think I still want to be home when they get home from school, to help them with homework and that sorta thing. I do have a teaching degree! That's sure to come in handy at some point! Like I said, a change of heart like that had to have come from God. =)

Sometimes I wonder if God just sits up there and laughs at me. All these ideas and plans I come up with have got to make him laugh! I wonder if He sits up there laughing and saying, "Oh, Sarah, if you only knew the things I have planned for you!"

Nothing that I had planned has really happened, except for getting a degree and finding the love of my life. That was probably God's plan too, though. The Army was definitely not part of "the plan." I never wanted to marry a Soldier...and look where I am now!! Yeah, God is totally having fun with me and my "plans!"



Mel said...

Oh man, isn't that the truth. Nothing about my relationship was part of the "plan." But, we love those men, don't we!? :) Thanks for sharing.

Kayla Sue said...

I'm a serious planner...and I have to remember who is in control!!

As for baby fever, I have been hit with it too! My little man is three months, but I already can't wait to have more! (but I will:)

The first half of my hubby's deployment I sat around and had nothing to do, but since Levi has entered the picture the work is neverending, and I love it!!

Good Post!:)

Anonymous said...

There's a great saying that I'm reminded of reading this post...

"Want to know how to make God laugh? Tell him your plans!" =)

If you asked me 6 years ago where I thought I'd be now, my current life isn't it. After college, I was going to travel the world. There was no husband/family/domestic life in my plans. I think God has gotten a good chuckle out of how my life has turned out!

JessRaquel said...

My plans have totally changed since high school, nothing ever goes the way you plan it!

Dave and Ashley said...

Great post! It is all too true! I never thought I'd be married before finishing college, but hey, that's the Army for you.

Alia said...

God definitely has a sense of humor! I know my "plans" didn't work out but I know my life couldn't have been planned better! We just have to remember who makes the plans! haha

JG said...

Baby fever must be going around right now. I've been fighting it hard the last few weeks. Almost a few months now.

As far as homeschooling, I was homeschooled through the 8th grade and LOVED it. SoldierMan was homeschooled his whole life and HATED it. But then, my family was more focused on building relationships outside of the home than his was. (Long story...that I probably am not allowed to share...) Anyway, I think it's all about how you do it. I think homeschooling can be the most beneficial way for a child to learn. And you would be an awesome homeschool mom, I can tell! :)

Kathryn said...

That is a sweet story about your grandparents. Mine also, have been married I think 60 + years, it's amazing to see what hard work and determination to keep a marriage together can do!

I agree, I had plans as well, and nothing has turned out like I thought. I think God does sit there and laugh at how we plan things, and then sees how different they turn out! God is good! :)

Meg said...

Ok, for the record, being a mom is the BEST EVER!!!!!!! I am convinced there is NOTHING more rewarding than raising little people to love Jesus & to have confidence & kindness & compassion & etc, etc.
Whether you adopt or have them biologically, it is infinitely amazing!

Chantal said...

Your plan sounded like mine! I was dead-set on being a working mom. Then my nephews were born and I had this moment where I thought "I don't want to miss this!" I'm missing their lives, I'd hate to miss my own children's lives. Though I want to be a writer... so I can do that from home while watching the kids!

Mr. Superman & Mrs. S. said...

I was just saying this to my buddy yesterday, "Whenever we make plans, I really think that God and Life take it as a personal challenge to see how badly/far off they can get us." Seriously. Whatever you do, you'll be fabulous. You know if you have babies I will be coming to Hawaii to get MY baby fix.

Paula Kathlyn said...

This post almost made me cry. I can totally relate. Seth and I had "planned" to have kids 2-3 years after we were married...we will be married for 3 years in July and we have a 1 1/2 year old! We found out we were expecting 2 months before our 1st anniversary...surprise! All of that to say, God knows what He is doing in us and through us, and I am completely relieved that He does, because I surely don't! :) I know that God always has His children's best interest at heart...can't wait to see how your life "plans" pan out :)

Yvonne said...

Im new to your blog, and I must say for such a young person, you have vast wisdom...I have two beautiful girls 17 & 20, I am a stay at home mom and while I loved every minute of it, I truly am at a stand still now trying to find "myself" again. Enjoy your young marriage with your wonderful partner, experience all you can with them now before the little ones,as for a job, substitute teach,or tutor, you can make good money,be surrounded by open little minds,and work when you want.Good luck to you and your adventures.