In 1958, my grandmother went dancing with her friends. While there, she met a tall, dark, and handsome Soldier who was home on leave. They talked, they danced and 3 months later they got married by a Justice of the Peace. After they got married, he got shipped out to Korea where he spent the first year of their marriage. They got few phone calls and sent probably thousands of letters. When he returned, he got stationed in Texas. Surprisingly, they made it through and 52 years later are still going strong. {Side note: Joe and I got married 3 days after their 50th anniversary. =D}
I wonder if that really happens anymore? If Soldiers meet women they barely know, marry them, go off to war and his bride is anxiously waiting for his return? Or, if two people get married (also barely knowing each other) and actually plan to stay together. Do the ways and busyness of the world get in the way? Do they see divorce as the option or do they choose to make to honor the vows they took and stay together? 52 years ago, divorce was rarely an option and I'd guarantee you that marriage was just as hard (and worth the effort) as it is now.
Food for thought.
I was thinking this morning how much my ideas of what my life would be like have changed. In high school, I had a plan. A great plan. One that looked good on paper and sounded great in my head. Here it was:
- Go to college
- Get a degree
- Meet a guy
- Get married
- Establish a career
- Have kids
- Be a working mom
- Live "happily ever after"
Sounds pretty darn good doesn't it?! Well, as with everything in life, things happened. In my case, the economy happened...but God did some work on me too.
I met Joe my junior year in college, when I wasn't really looking for a relationship. At that point in my life, I had decided that I'd probably be single forever. The only things I took seriously were school and God. I figured if I put myself in the right place, God would take care of the rest. Ha. Little did I know what was in store for me!
I knew that I needed some Christian friends at my college, so I went to the BCM (Baptist Collegiate Ministry). I started singing in the praise band and attending anything and everything the BCM offered. Enter Joe. It wasn't supposed to be a serious relationship, just a boyfriend, someone to hang out with. 3 weeks turned into 2 months, 2 months turned into 6...you get the picture.
When we got married, I was still very determined to establish a career. I really wanted to get a teaching job. Because of the fabulous economy, it never happened. When Joe lost his job, I was stuck. I didn't have time to search for a career. I had bills to pay, food to put on the table. Somewhere in the middle of life, I wasn't sure whether or not I still wanted to teach. Heck, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to work! When Joe enlisted, I suddenly realized I had options. I could do whatever I wanted. I was no longer limited to teaching or working at Chili's. I have a bachelor's, I love history, I love to write... I do have options.
Here's the thing: all I can think about is being a mom. That's it. I don't know if it's just baby fever or something else. I don't care if I work - I wanna have babies and raise them! I remember - when we were still dating - Joe asking me if I would home-school our kids. My immediate response was, "No! I'm going to be a working mom!" I thought if my mom could do it, then I could too. I guess things changed when I got married and realized for the first time in my life all that a wife does. The cooking, the cleaning, the laundry. It's a lot to do after you've worked all day! I honestly can't imagine throwing 1, 2, or 3 kids into that as well! {If you are a working mom...serious kudos to you!!!! You are my hero!}That aside, if you're working you miss all those little moments. I don't want to miss that. I want to be there for everything, especially when my husband may not be. I don't know when it happened, but I definitely think that God changed my heart on that one. Only He could have made such a big change in my heart. I'd mentioned this to my mom once, and she told me that I could always go back to work when the kids were in school - like she did. True, but I think I still want to be home when they get home from school, to help them with homework and that sorta thing. I do have a teaching degree! That's sure to come in handy at some point! Like I said, a change of heart like that had to have come from God. =)
Sometimes I wonder if God just sits up there and laughs at me. All these ideas and plans I come up with have got to make him laugh! I wonder if He sits up there laughing and saying, "Oh, Sarah, if you only knew the things I have planned for you!"
Nothing that I had planned has really happened, except for getting a degree and finding the love of my life. That was probably God's plan too, though. The Army was definitely not part of "the plan." I never wanted to marry a Soldier...and look where I am now!! Yeah, God is totally having fun with me and my "plans!"