Because life just isn't fair.
I realized last night that after our 2 year anniversary, Joe and I will spend a total of 33 days together for the next year. 33 days out of 365, because the Army decided that he needed to deploy now. Initially, I was ok with it. The sooner the better. At least he's not going to Afghanistan. But now I can only focus on that number: 33. It sucks. I'm a newbie.
What the crap am I going to do while he's gone?
Getting a job would be great, if they were actually available here.
Volunteering would be awesome, but where?
I can't stay holed up in this house all day.
I know like 2 people on this freaking island, who am I going to hang out with?
We haven't found a church yet...that's how I survived BCT.
Among other things....
The shipping company freaking busted our headlight - still ticked about that one.
Transportation and the company responsible for our HHG have no idea where our HHG are. When were we told they would be here? Today.
My shoulder has been killing me for weeks and I don't know why. Grr.
I've got family drama out the freakin' wazoo and I can't do anything from 8,000 miles away.
My puppy, Jasper, is still staying with my SIL and her family. I miss him like crazy. He'll be here 2 months after Joe deploys. Figures.
All I wanna do is sit down and throw myself one huge pity party. But, now's not the time for it. My hubby is still here and he's on leave until Monday. I just wish that, for once, something - anything - would actually go right!!!
And then I read Married to the Military and she shared something that made me feel like I'd gotten slapped. You know that "coulda had a V8" kind of slap.
She was talking about how they were taking their daughter who just started walking outside so she could walk on the grass barefoot. For a while, she threw a fit and wouldn't go into the grass. They picked her up and put her in it, knowing that she would enjoy it if she calmed down. And guess what, she did! Then I read this:
"I wonder if God ever feels the same way about us. When we're consumed with disappointment, whining over what's been denied us, nursing anger over our unraveled plans. Does it pain Him that we're entirely missing the blessings that are being presented to us right alongside? I wonder if He'd like to say, "You know guys, if you'd quit your tantrum for just a second and look at the bigger picture, you'd see that I have something amazing waiting for you right around the corner".
I bet it's tough for Him to watch us act like such babies over things we don't even fully understand..."
Here I am, throwing my pity party, all the while God is probably saying, "You know, Sarah, if you could look past the bad part about this upcoming deployment, I have something awesome waiting for you. Be patient. Trust me."
So, from now on, I'm gonna do my best to be all bright and shiny. I will try to look on the bright side and trust God.