Thirty Three and More Frustration

How far along: 33 weeks!

Weight gain/loss: Since starting the GD diet, I've actually lost 2 pounds. It's really weird to me. I know that I made a big change, so I shouldn't be surprised but I am. It's weird to think about losing weight in the 3rd trimester. So overall, I've gained 29 pounds.

Body changes: Just more stretch marks as my belly gets bigger.

I find it crazy that I still have to get bigger before she gets here! Look at that belly!

Gender: It's a GIRL!

Movement: Allll the time! She kicks and punches pretty frequently. I know people say that hiccups don't bother babies, but she moves so much when she has them. Even more if she's had them for a long time. If hers are anything like mine, I really can't blame her for being so irritated!

Sleep: About the same. I get up a few times a night for a bathroom run {more like waddle}, but it's not so bad. =)

What I'm looking forward to: Baby shower in 2 weeks!!! =D Finishing her room, getting her crib bedding from my bestie... All kinds of fun stuff. =)

What I miss: Um, let's see... Good - okay, bad food. ;-) I get plenty of good food. I miss not waddling... Being able to see my feet... Sleeping on my stomach... And not feeling exhausted.

Cravings: Pretty much everything I can't have. I think that comes with the territory, though. I did find some sugar free candy and cookies last week, and those definitely help. It's just that I can't have as much of them as I'd like!

Symptoms: Back and hip pain when I get out of bed in the mornings. Heart burn here and there, even with Zantac. I really don't want to know what it'd be like if I wasn't taking it! Had a couple Braxton Hicks last week, but none so far this week.

Best moment this week: Joe playing with baby girl via my belly. =) We were laying on the couch and she started really moving and kicking. So I had him put his hand on my belly to feel her. Her kicks and punches are so much more defined now and he's not always around when she's moving. Anyway. She would kick and then he would poke or press on my belly to see what she would do. Well, she just kept kicking him back! It was so cute. =) Well, it was cute until she started kicking my ribs anyway.

Oh, we also picked up {and put together} the carseat and stroller my mom got for us this weekend!

And when I say "we," clearly I mean Joe. ;-)

Side view.

Front/baby view!

We went with gender neutral since we're planning on having more than one kiddo. =) And I really like this set! The carseat should last us a while too... It'll hold her up to 35 pounds!

This brings us to the not-so-fun stuff.

I had another OB appointment today, and I thought it went really well. I noticed my blood pressure was a little bit high, but no one said anything about it so I didn't worry. Charlotte's heart rate was great and normal, I'm measuring pretty close to normal and that was that.

Then, TWO HOURS LATER... The doctor I saw today called me. "I just now noticed that your blood pressure was elevated this afternoon. I want to repeat the labs you had last week and monitor you in L&D again."

I wanted to scream!!! He seriously didn't even take a look at my chart while I was there! Thankfully, I had the presence of mind to inform him 1) that I was already home and 2) I had done the 24 hr urine collection and dropped it off this afternoon. That bought me 30 minutes because the results hadn't come back yet.

Almost exactly 30 minutes later, he calls back. Turns out I'm not preeclamptic. {Already knew that, but thanks.} However, I apparently "fit the bill" for hypertension. And this is where the suck comes in. He wants to add NSTs to my weekly visits and do a growth scan. He actually wants me to do two NSTs a week. Sadly I don't think well on my feet and didn't think to tell him that, no, I won't actually be able to drive to Tripler twice a week. I know they're worried about me and her, but I really just can't do that. We only have one freakin' car and since I don't work, Joe kind of needs it. And I don't even want to throw in the gas prices and travel time. It's ridiculous. They can do what they need to once a week, when I'm already going. It's not going to hurt anyone, least of all them. So, I guess I'm going to be a bad patient, but there's just no way...

At the moment, I'm just really frustrated. I'm frustrated with my body for sucking and I'm frustrated with Dr. Doesn't Look at the Chart. I just... I don't even really know how to put into words how I really feel. I hate this. I hate that there's something else wrong with me. I feel like I'm never, ever, ever going to be healthy - not even for my baby girl. I can't even do this properly. I know there's nothing I can really do, and nothing I could have done to prevent it, but that doesn't help. I just don't understand why on earth all this is happening.

I'm really trying to remember that God has a plan in all this, but it's hard. I'm not going to lie, I've had issues talking to God about all this health stuff lately. I guess I'm just so upset that I don't even want to try... But at the same time I'm praying He'll help me. Makes a lot of sense, doesn't it? =P It's really hard to explain. Hopefully some of you have been there before and understand what I'm getting at. I know I need to talk to Him about the GD and now this hypertension stuff, and all my frustrations but I just can't. get. there. There's so much other stuff going on with Joe and the Army, that I'm kind of overwhelmed with it all.

I know this post is super long now, so I'm just gonna say this: Please say some prayers for me. I'm really, really struggling...even though I may seem like I have it together and I'm perfectly happy. That's me trying to do this on my own and obviously it's not doing the trick.