30 June, 2010

I Hit a Wall (Metaphorically Speaking)

Most of my day was great. I got up, Skyped with my bestie again (thank God for summer break!), had breakfast and got a text from my husband! This is what he said:

I know it's going to cost, but I wanted to say we made it safe...last night, trained all day today, more tomorrow. I'll try to get a calling card...tomorrow [i]f I get time. I love you so much, and miss you too:*

Isn't he just the sweetest?! =D I honestly don't care that it's going to make our bill go up this month. I'm sure it's going to hurt, but knowing he's ok is so much more important. {The ellipses are info I felt needed to be left out.}

I managed to clean off the desk in the living room, rearrange my bookshelf a bit, and unpacked some in the office/craft room/spare bedroom. I was looking for Joe's SD card reader, but I couldn't find it. I opened at least 4 boxes - probably more - and it was nowhere to be found. I was not happy with the way we had the furniture set up in there, so I took it upon myself to move it. Maybe not the best idea... I moved boxes out of the way, put a couple things in the hallway, and I was on my way. I moved our ginormous TV off the desk and onto the dresser we moved in there. I did not pick the thing up. Oh no. I moved the dresser up next to the desk and slid that sucker over. =) I was proud of myself. I moved the desk over where I wanted it to be, and then I took on the big undertaking - the file cabinet. The movers felt it appropriate not to unpack the things we had in there, so it weighs a ton. I thought it was smart to push the thing from the back...with the drawers unlocked. Oh yeah, that was smart. All of the drawers came open and the cabinet tipped forward with little 'ole me behind it, trying to keep it from tipping completely over. Somehow - by the grace of God, I'm sure - I was able to get one of the drawers shut and then the rest of them. Whew!

It took me forever to move the thing a total of 10 feet. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be regretting that tomorrow. But, hey, at least the room is set up the way I want it now. =) I just have to figure out what to do with night stand #2... I'm thinking of painting it some sort of light blue color and moving it to the living room to use as an end table. We have no end tables to speak of in this house. At one end, we have Joe's "toy chest" and a piano bench. {I'll never know how we ended up with a bench and no piano...} So, what do you think? Can I turn my night stand into a cute end table?

After my very productive afternoon, I finally showered and sat down to relax. Then my dad called. If you knew my dad, you'd know how weird it was to see "Dad" on my caller ID. He proceeded to give me some bad news about Papa. {I'm thinking that Mom was either upset or too busy to call.} Today they did an angiogram on Papa. The test showed that his aneurysm had been there for so long that it had actually begun to clot on the tail end. I think that Mom had told me previously that he had a clot as well, but I'm not sure. Not being there and getting information handed down is kind of confusing.  Anyway, he also has a tumor that is attached to the wall of his brain. I don't know if it's stage whatever, and I'm not sure if they've even determined that.

Tomorrow, the doctors are going to place a balloon in the left side of his brain by running it up through his neck. They will inflate the balloon to stop the blood flow to that side and see if Papa can function without blood flow to that side. If it works and he can function, they will place a stent in on Thursday. I'm not 100% certain, but I think their goal is to cut off the blood supply to the aneurysm and tumor. This is all if the test is successful. If not, I'm not sure what they will recommend. It's quite possible that even if their planned course of treatment works, he will still have double vision.

Mom said that Papa seems very positive. She said he told her that I didn't need to fly in, but that I needed to stay here where I could talk to Joe. I seriously started crying. My Papa is so sweet. I think that this tumor/aneurysm thing has caused him to have uncharacteristic mood swings and actions for the past few years (the doctors said it had been there for at least 2 years, possibly more). Papa also told Mom that he was at peace and that he knew God would take care of him. She thinks it's the drugs talking, but I know better. God will take care of him. I just hope that He doesn't take him home. Not yet.

This is when I hit a wall. Talking to Mom - who was clearly upset - and wishing Joe were here to hold me... I'd even take a phone call right now. Just hearing his soothing voice would help. I'm really hoping to hear his voice before I go to bed. Even if it's just for a few minutes. The song "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum is creeping into my mind right now. Gotta love country music and its sometimes-sappy/lonely lyrics.



{I've never embedded a video before so I'm sorry if it doesn't work.}

I did manage to make myself dinner (chicken quesadillas). I think I'm going to give myself a little bit of medicine (the kind made by Ben & Jerry) and see what's on TLC. I think I have an addiction...

If you would take a minute and pray for my family, I would really appreciate it. My mom is trying to hold things together for Nana, who is refusing to eat. {Gotta say I don't blame her, but it's not good for her.} Mom's dealing with everything, Papa is sick, and I'm sure Nana is just about heart broken. I'm barely hanging in there with a husband halfway around the world. My brother just went through a rough breakup and the death of a close friend. I think we're all about to go crazy. Dad, on the other hand, is Mr. Tough Guy. I love my dad, but he's not the sympathetic kind. So, I'm not sure how much support he's going to be for Mom. Please, just pray for us. I know it's probably killing Joe that he's not here for me. So, say a prayer for him too.

 Thank you so much for your sweet comments and support. I hope you know how much it means to me.

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13 comments:

{Amanda} said...

Aww, hang in there, hun! We're at the three week mark already, & I'm hoping the rest of the year goes by oh so fast! Know that you're not alone in this! ♥

Hooray for technology! Once your husband is in a more permanent location, I bet you will be hearing from him regularly!

The LT's Wifey said...

many prayers. when it rains, it pours.... just hang in there.

Jen said...

Sending lots of prayers your way!!

Dave and Ashley said...

Hang in there! You are not alone! And so, so many prayers are being sent your way not only for your Papa, but for you.

A Marine Fiancee said...

Hello pretty lady! I love reading your blog. I have a wonderful surpise for you over on my blog! :)

Amber said...

Lifting you and your family up today. I know it's a difficult time, but you will continue to make it through!

Leza said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your papa. I'm praying for him and your entire family. I wish words could heal the pain people feel sometimes, but just know that if there were words to take it all away...i'd say it.

Our first cell phone bill during our first deployment was over $1,000 but he would call from his cell and text me.Even though our calls were only 2-3 minutes a piece...boy, it added up. Im sure that one text won't give you a $1,000 bill...

Im sorry you're having such a rough time. Trust me, I understand the feeling of being sooo far from friends and family and feeling so alone during a deployment. If you ever want to chat please don't hesitate to email me.

I'm praying for you and your family.

Marie said...

You and your family are in my prayers. I hope you get to hear from Joe soon.

Carmen said...

I know deployments are rough but slowly but surely you are getting closer to seeing him again. I'm so glad you got to "hear" from him though! Any kind of communication is comforting I think!

I'm praying for you and your family though. Stay strong hun!

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I hope his surgery is a success tomorrow. I'll be thinking and wishing your family the best.

JessRaquel said...

I'm praying for your entire family! You are in my thoughts!!!

JG said...

Wow, I am the worst blogfriend ever. Really late to the game, here. Sorry.

I'm sorry about your grandparents. I know how stressful that is. Did you find a flight home? I'm praying for your family. I've been dealing with some issues with my grandma this week so I am feeling it, too. Please keep us updated.

Mr. Superman & Mrs. S. said...

Lots of prayers ALWAYS!!