It seems like as soon as 2010 got here, I was faced with a challenge larger than life. Something I had NO idea I'd be faced with...ever. [For those of you with large imaginations, no I'm not pregnant. Someday, but not now.]
This thing that has happened is, at times, extremely difficult to bear. I'm still here, functioning as usual, but fighting the urge to break down or scream, "IT'S NOT FAIR." Then, God never promised that life would be fair or easy. He said there would be troubles in this world. I suppose that's something we can all take to the bank.
I honestly don't know how I've made it through the past few days. By the grace of God, I suppose. I really needed to hear my pastor's message on Sunday. It really helped me understand part of the "thing" that's happened. [Just so you know, I don't feel like divulging what this "thing" is right now.] His message came from Gen. 3 --> the first sin. He talked about how Satan tricks us into sinning. It became incredibly clear to me that the tactics he used then, he still uses, and they're still just as effective. You'd think after all this time, humans would have learned his tactics. Yet, we still believe the lies he tells us! And no matter what, God is there to pick us up when we fall and tell us how much He loves us. Crazy, I know; but that's just who God is. It's awesome. No matter what we do, or what others do to us to make us feel worthless, He's right there...wrapping His arms around us...never leaving...never breaking promises...ALWAYS loving us.
God never ceases to amaze me. Even when I haven't been working on my relationship with Him: forgetting to read my Bible...not praying as often as I should...and He's still there! This evening, we were watching Prince Caspian (the 2nd Narnia movie). Joe got up at one point to go to the bathroom, and I asked "what do I do now? where do I go from here?". The movie reached the part where Lucy is dreaming, and goes to find Aslan in the woods. Then, the trees part to make a path from Lucy to Aslan. Immediately, this verse came to mind: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." - Prov. 3:5-6. Ummmm can I just say WOW!?!?!! It was exactly what I needed when I needed it. It was so powerful at that moment, that it almost took my breath away. I should also mention that I ended up memorizing that verse when I was teaching kids at church. There's another "wow" for you.
I hope that this whole thing passes quickly and that life will get back to some sort of normalcy. For now, I'm trusting that God has a plan for me and that somehow, I'll make it through all of this and come out better on the other side. Gotta say though, 2010 is proving to be rough already.