And I am worried. *sigh* Is this how it's going to be?
Joe got his duty station orders today. So, now we know where we will be living when he's done with AIT. I'm not going to reveal that just yet because not all of Joe's family has been told. That said, the place he got stationed in makes it more likely that he will be deployed. He could even be deployed as soon as we get there!!!!!! I've already started to stress out about the mere possibility of deployment, and now I get this news?! Really?! I mean, by the time we get to his duty station, we will have lived apart for about 8 months. Is that not enough? I mean, really?! Is it not enough of a sacrifice to have lived apart for 8 months - 2 of those in which I barely even spoke to him? I know that deployment is just part of it now, and I've accepted that. I'm just having a really hard time dealing with this news.
I am excited about where we're going. I've never been there before and I've always wanted to. Plus, there's a ton of history there...which I'm very excited about. I can't wait to see all of that! It's going to be different, and new, and exciting and I am happy about that. It's just hard to separate the excitement from the worried part. I can't help it. I worry about everything! I was worried about the deployment before I even knew it was actually possible. I think I make myself more worried by watching the news, reading blogs about wives whose husbands have PTSD or have been injured, and by continuing to think about the "what if". I'm really bad about the "what if"s. Is it possible that that runs in the family? 'Cause I'm pretty sure my mom has that too. Haha! Sorry, Mom! ;-)
I know that I should just stop thinking about it and let God have it, but it's so hard! I know that God is going to continue to provide for me and take care of me, even when/if Joe is deployed. I also know that He will take care of my husband. But, for some reason, that doesn't stop my brain from screaming "what about _____?!".
So, my Army Wife life has officially began. Now, what on earth am I going to do???