24 October, 2010


A few weeks ago, I got an email from our FRG leader stating that her husband would no longer be the company commander. Translation? "My husband is getting moved to a different company and I'm not going to be your FRG leader anymore."

I wasn't upset about this at all. Her husband is a decent enough guy, but she had no business being FRG leader. I think she just got drug into it because her husband was the CC. Then we got an email saying, "CPT New Guy is asking for volunteers for FRG leader." Greeeaaat. 

This week, we got an email stating that one of Joe's NCO's wives (did you follow that?!) was taking over the FRG. Thank goodness! I was glad that she was taking it because she had been the secretary or something before. Our former FRG leader had ZERO experience with the Army, let alone the FRG. (Not that I had/have any either.) Plus, she works a full-time job as a nurse. Not exactly the ideal FRG leader. Anyway.

Today, the new FRG leader friend requested me on FB and then added me to the company group she created. And then began the onslaught of "can you help out?" messages. It's not that I don't want to help them. It's more like I offered my help when the CC's wife took over and she never told me what she needed. Now I'm volunteering at the museum 3 days a week (for 3 hours) and I'm the advertising person for the spouses' club on post. That's kind of a lot! It may not be a full time job, but I really do feel like I'm busy. Then I got this message from the new FRG leader:

"my husband suggested that I ask if you would like to take the co-leader position. He has had a lot of good things to say about both you and your husband."

Now the question is this: Do I step up and volunteer so it makes my husband look good - even though I've got a lot on my plate as it is?

I don't know. Supposedly, it's not that much work. Just 2 - 10 hours a week and filling in at meetings when necessary. That's it. =/ I did sign up to support my husband in his new career. I said I'd stand behind his decision and support him all the way, in everything. Is this one of those times? Is this one of the things I'm supposed to do to support him and hopefully help his career? It would definitely look good for him if I were co-leader of the FRG. He doesn't get any promotion points or anything from it, but we all know that these types of things make a Soldier look good. Plus, if he does decide to go officer (which will definitely happen if he decides to stay in the Army) I'll probably need the experience with FRG.

So, what do you think? Should I give up a day a week at the museum to support my husband's career and take the co-leader spot in the FRG?


In other news, because I was feeling crummy today [and didn't get to have dinner with the girls] I got to stay home and watch the Sooners play. Unfortunately, they made my crumminess worse by losing to Mizzou. *sigh* It could have been worse, though. At least we didn't lose to Iowa State like Texas did. Thankfully, we stomped them in the ground last week. And for the record, the last time we got beat by Mizzou was in 1998. We let them win this one. ;-)

Happy Saturday!


Mr. Superman & Mrs. S. said...

I would love to be given the opportunity to help with our Key Spouses/FRG. It does make Joe look good but I think it would help you out lots too.

AbbeyG said...

I say go for it!! Speaking as an enlisted's wife, I think it would be awesome for your group to have an NCO leader and an enlisted co-leader! :) It would probably be an awesome learning experience, too.

Nina said...

I agree with ladies above. Go for it - it is good for both you and your husband.
And it is also great if there could be a co-leader who is an enlisted spouse.

Have fun - you will do great!

Adriane said...

I would say if you can make the time and you think it is something you will enjoy. Yes, it will help your husband look good that his wife is stepping up to the plate and is supportive of his career. BUT do not do it just because you feel obligated; otherwise you will regret it later.

I am the FRG Leader for my Husband's Company and it is challenging and we are not even deployable from Korea. It will help though that you would be the co-leader and have support.

If you ever have any questions, feel free to contact me as I have been an FRG Leader at three different installations now.

Dave and Ashley said...

I am in the same boat. I am one of three officer wives in Dave's company. One is the current FRG leader but her husband is switching companies, so they are looking for a new leader. And ta-da, I have been approached about it. I think it is a great opportunity to make a name for yourself, learn a little (or alot) more, and prepare yourself for down the road when our husbands are even further in our careers and at that point, as their wives we *have* to show our faces and be involved. I just told them if I do it to please have patience with me. I may not know the answers the first time something happens, but I will learn and know for the second or third time.

Jessica said...

I'm not sure if I have ever commented on your blog before, but I do read it often and wanted to comment on this post.

I recently took the FRG co-leader position for my hubby's unit. I am so glad that I did. Even though I could come up with a million reasons why I could not do it (2 kids in school both with after school activities, Member Care Director for Wives of Faith, Sunday school teacher, taking care of my mom who is in bad health...etc etc) It really has been a great experience...BUSY (cause of deployment) but great. I meet other spouses and get to see a little of what my hubby experiences. It has given me a new appreciation (even though the few weeks leading up to deployment were crazy busy)

I say go for it! Not only will it help the unit but you will be benefited too. =) If you have any questions, please feel free to email me.

Kelli said...

I say go for it...might as well take your volunteer time and use it to puff up your hubby a little too. Plus, it sounds like they need your help =)

Jenn said...

If you want to go for it and think you could do a good job at it then I would say go for it. But you shouldn't feel obligated to just to make your husband look good. Nothing will be reflective on you or him if you decline if you plate is full.

Anonymous said...

I think the FRG co-leader position is a great one if you want to learn a bit more about the Army. It will also prepare you for future leadership positions later on. BUT, don't do it if you are doing it for any reason other than you just want to. It's a ton of work...even if someone says it will "only" be a few hours a week. I don't know of any FRG co-leader who gave less than 40 hours/month.

If you do decide to take the position, do it for you. Because, honestly, if you are doing it to advance his career, everyone will see that and it will actually look bad for you and him. Also, if you decide to take the position, please, please, please take the classes that are offered to help prepare you for the position. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to deal with "leaders" who don't know anything about the position. Take the AFTB classes so that you can learn about resources on post, how to run an effective meeting, and how to deal with different personalities. Take the FRG leadership course, the FRG treasurer course (you need to know what they know), and any other classes offered on your post.

Also, talk with your co-leader first about expectations. Are you really going to be a co-leader, or is it more like a "vice-president" kind of thing? In my experience, one of two things tends to happen to co-leaders. They either get all the crappy tasks the leader doesn't want to do, or the leader doesn't give them anything to do and the co-leader feels useless. Is this your first FRG leadership experience? Why not start out as a POC, treasurer, secretary or something to get your feet wet? That way, you might also not have to give up a day at the museum.

Okay, that's my twenty-five cents....yes, it's more than 2 cents because I'm counting for inflation! =) LOL! Thanks for reading!

Sarah Ruth said...

I think you should do it. You'd have fun!

Mowenackie said...

I agree with Jessia. If this is something you want to do, then go for it! You'll find the time. But don't do it for any other reason! It is a lot of work and it means making yourself available for people that have questions or concerns. If your heart's not in it, it will start to seem like a burden and that will come across to others.